Blog Post 16 - A letter to myself

Dear me,

I’m writing from a quieter place. A reflection on the last year - the many processes, the changes, the unraveling and rebuilding. Things are calmer now. The fog is fading away, and my vision is clearer. And in this letter, I want to remind you of 2025 - the lessons, the gratitude, the doubt, the tenderness, the knowing.

This year carried me far

This year moved me across landscapes and versions of myself. It began in the Sierra Nevada in northern Colombia, counting down into the New Year in a small mountain town with people who were strangers not long before. From deserts to jungle, from slow boats on the Amazon river to long flights across oceans - the year was intense, wild and physical. I got sick more times than I can count, my body forcing me to slow down even when my mind wanted to keep going.

There was beauty, contrast and movement, everywhere.

What broke, and what became clear

Somewhere along the way, things cracked. After over a year of constant movement I realised how deeply I craved stability - a place to land, to rest my mind, to build something instead of constantly chasing the next horizon. I encountered heartbreak, and with it, a sharp mirror, I saw my patterns, my fears, and the places where I abandoned myself.

I confused intensity with love. I mistook chaos for depth. I was trying to dance dances that were never meant to be mine.

It felt like walking under a rain of roses - so much beauty, tenderness, inspiration - and yet, thorns too. Painful ones. Especially when the heart and body are already tired. And there you were - just letting them rain on you.

Why I’m choosing differently now

I have chosen to stay. Here in my little town in the mountains of Peru. Deciding to build a base here for now, is not about giving up freedom - it is about listening. To my body. My nervous system. My need for safety and focus.

I’m building now instead of escaping the decision making that is necessary to make my dreams come true. Learning that stability can be a foundation, not a cage. That stopping doesn’t mean the adventure is over - it means it’s integrating. There are plenty of places I still want to visit - all over the world - but with a clearer mind and a base to fall back upon.

What I want you to remember and build upon

Protect your softness. Don’t mistake chaos for passion. Choose relationships that feel safe in the body - the body knows, your intuition knows the moment you meet someone. Keep spreading color, but don’t bleed for it. Let growth be gentle. Trust this new frequency you’re living at. It’s the beginning of moving from a steadier place. In heart, in mind, in soul.

I love you, and I will never abandon you.

With warmth,
Kimberly 🌻